Wills…How Many of Us Have Them?
Can I be honest about something? I don’t have a Will…or a Power of Attorney…or an Advanced Health Care Directive. I’m working on it now, but like many others, I have put it off, refusing to think about my own mortality and focusing more on living life than “preparing for my death.”
However, I am the mother of a beautiful, rambunctious, inquisitive, almost two-year old girl. She is the center of my world, and as one of her parents, I’m a big part of her world. I’m there when she wakes up in the morning to give her a hug and change her diaper. I make sure she has three meals, two snacks, and that her teeth are brushed every day. I comb and wash her hair. I bathe her. I play with her. I take her to her doctor’s appointments. I read to her. I buy her clothes, snacks, and makes sure she has everything that she needs. At night, I put her in her pink Minnie Mouse bed, give her a kiss, and tell her, “I’ll see you when you wake up. I love you.” Pretty par for the course stuff with respect to parenthood.
But imagine if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, or if something tragic happened to me on the way to the grocery store or the office. My child would be left without one of her primary sources of care, love, food, and shelter. I must admit that my eyes are welling up with tears just thinking about it. She’s young, so she would miss me for a while, but she would likely lose her memories of me with time. That’s a painful thought, but what creates panic and fear in this Mama Lawyer is that I have no written, enforceable plan for her. She would inherit my retirement savings, my bank accounts, cash, and belongings – thank God she wouldn’t inherit my student loan debt. She would live with her dad, and he would manage the money that I left behind to take care of her. Not too shabby.
But let’s say her dad predeceases me, or we die at the same time or really close in time. Well, now, the Chancery Court has to step in, and guess what…Dada doesn’t have a Will either (we’re working on his, too, so don’t worry…we’re getting our things in order), so Mississippi law dictates what will happen. At this point, our family members will have to decide or fight over who will take in our sweet girl. Man…who is chopping onions in here?
Baby girl would also inherit everything that her father and I own. Someone has to manage that money and make sure it is used wisely to support her until she is an adult. Who will she live with? Who will supervise her money? Well, if both her father and I are deceased without wills, we have no idea. We’re likely buried in St. Peter’s Cemetery, with no voice to instruct the Chancery Court as to our wishes. That is unacceptable. Two simple wills with mirror guardianship plans would be all that we needed to make sure our daughter is placed with someone we both trust to love, care and provide for her with what we’ve left behind.
I won’t lie…it’s hard. It is really hard to decide who you will entrust with your most precious treasure, your children, if something were to happen to you. Even still, it is important to plan for the worst-case scenario.
Is it enough to just tell a friend or your sister that you want them to care for you child(ren)? It very well could be. That friend or your sister could show up to Court and declare that this child’s parents asked them to take care of said child, and if no one challenges that claim, then the friend or sister may be given legal guardianship over the child(ren). But what if Grandma, who loves the child just as much as the friend or sister and is just as financially equipped to care for the child, shows up to Court, too, seeking legal guardianship. Well now, you’re in a pickle without a Will, and the decision lies within the Court’s discretion.
This post is not intended to frighten anyone into getting a Will, but I wanted to share how unprepared I am in my own affairs and how planning ahead causes us to face emotional and difficult, yet necessary, decisions. We all want to think of the lives we’ll LIVE with our loved ones – about the traveling we’ll do, the graduations, the birthday parties, the laughter, the fun – not what will happen when we pass away. Unfortunately, anything could happen in the blink of an eye, and yes, even I, an attorney who helps others with their Wills and Powers of Attorney, have been derelict in my duty to ENSURE that my own daughter will be taken care of by those I trust the most should she lose her parents.
Failing to leave behind our wishes and plans, especially in a scenario where minor children are involved, can create tense, expensive, and unnecessary problems for our loved ones. They’ll already have enough on their plate dealing with their own grief.
So, my plan is to have my Will and other planning documents completed, signed, witnessed, and notarized by the time this blog is posted. I hope that you will begin considering your own plans and getting a Will. And here’s the thing…you can come back to it time and time again. Although it’s called a “LAST Will and Testament,” you can revoke it, amend it, or replace it as many times as you like throughout your lifetime. So, you don’t have to feel like you’re staring death in the face by creating a Will. Rather, in the words of the notoriously sesquipedalian rapper T.I., you’re just “ready for whatever.” Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
If you’d like to discuss a Will or estate planning, please contact me for a consultation. I’m here to help you think through your options and create a plan that works for you.